Friday, September 2, 2011

I need some time alone, but it's not what I want

I'm really tempted to vent like mad, right here, right now. I want to unleash all the fury that my womanhood possesses and ream someone out. I'm hurt, frustrated, confused, stunned, and every time my mind revisits the issue, all I can think is, "Seriously?!?!"

As temporarily satisfying as that would be, I know my Lord expects differently from me. And the more I pray and give God all my questions as to why this would happen, the more I'm given a sense of....well, pity I guess. I feel SORRY for this person. To be that clearly confused as to where they're going...it's frustrating, I know. I've been there. I want answers to life's questions too.

Being that my love language is physical touch, I really craving people right now. I want so much to cuddle with a roommate and spill my heart, my frustrations. I want to call a friend with a motorcycle to ride around for a while and release my anger and hurt by the intensity of the ride. I want to throw myself at anything else that will distract me from what I don't really have right now.

But I know I need Jesus. I need Him to cradle my heart as I hurt. I need Him as I vocalize my frustration and pain. I need Him to surround me and whisper truth that wipes away the lies that try to infiltrate.