There's a mythical place... very similar to Family Video or Redbox, but instead of renting movies, you can rent BOOKS?!?!  It's a genius idea, really...I mean, who can afford to buy all these amazing new books and devour them all?!  No....that gets expensive.  

I know, it's quite obvious in a "Do you live under a ROCK!?" kind of way.  When we were little and under the tow of my exasperated mom, we would take several trips to the library a week during the summer, and what little of my childhood that wasn't spent outdoors playing in my glorious river (creek bed) and forest (a poor excuse for timber) was spent pouring over books and reading as much as I could.  I participated in "Book It" and won myself several personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut for my efforts.  I even dreamt of becoming a librarian myself, teaching poor kids how to read from the back of my library van where I would travel to small towns breathing a breath of fresh air into their imaginations.

But apparently when you go to college, "the library" takes on a new connotation and is no longer a refuge but a source of drudgery and studying.  At least for me it did.  It's not FUN anymore.  So I managed to avoid the library my entire college career and beyond.

Until today.

What's got me all fired up about the library again is that I've realized I can borrow books on my Kindle!!  All those books on my wishlist at Amazon just begging to be bought can now be borrowed and returned when I finish them!  My pocketbook is ecstatic.  And what's not to love about having several dozen books within grasp, ready for that moment when they can be chosen during a period of waiting for an appointment or right before bed, or if I happen to be at a ridiculously catching climax, at a long stop light.

I thought I had been a reading fiend this year, averaging 2 books a month (ish).  Well....Ames Public Library?  Game on, my friend.  Game on.

Eternally Faithful

Hey!  Look what I found in my blog "draft" folder!  It's a rare find to see something that didn't actually get posted at the original writing, but I'll take it!  I need a good back-in-the-saddle blog anyway...

A while ago, a friend posted a "member that time" about how over the course of a week, she beat all the guys in her homeroom in an arm-wrestling contest and that reminded me of myself...

I grew up a die-hard tomboy. Oh sure, I liked wearing dresses and tights, but I'm pretty sure that every single pair of tights I ever wore to school came home with holes on the knees that miraculously appeared because I certainly wasn't about to admit that I had ruined another pair.

Even now, I cringe at the idea of a tea-party themed women's retreat and "girls night out" where we paint our nails and do face masks.

Sorry girls, I think I'm sitting this one out.

I'm competitive, driven, and love a challenge. When I did a semester of the Army ROTC, my favorite part was the drills and obstacle courses we had to complete. Cross a wide stream using a rope tied between two trees while toting a large gun? Drop to the ground and army crawl through mud? No problem. It's one of the reasons I love bootcamp; it's hard, it sucks, it's challenging in ways you hadn't thought about before, and it's my own daily competition. Granted, that's also the reason why I hate it; I'm not top dog in there. But it keeps me coming back and pushing hard because once in a while, I do win.

But this attitude has a big downside; I refuse to let anyone think I can't handle something on my own; I'm fiercely independent. I can do it. I'll carry the heaviest box just to prove to you that I am not frail.

(Case in point, I was helping Paige and Todd move and picked up a heavy box. Todd offered to help and I told him, "I've got this! I do bootcamp!" to which he replied, "Yeah, but you'll never be a man!")

I have such a hard time submitting to the assistance of others and their help; it feels like admitting defeat. If I accept help, I'm admitting I'm not good enough, I've failed. In reality, it's not nearly that dramatic. But try telling my heart or mind that.

So when I get to a point in life where my burdens are just too heavy and I can't take another step, I'm forced into that position where I have to admit defeat and accept the assistance of the One who can carry it all, always. It hurts so much to say yes to His assistance, initially. But He lifts my burdens with ease and I don't feel shameful and embarrassed at my lack of strength. He knows I can't handle it all, He's always known. Deep inside, I do too. But each time I insist I can handle it on my own again, He lets go with sad eyes, knowing that He'll have to pick me back up in a short time.

Why don't I let Him carry my burden all the time? What do I have to prove to Him? I know He's not impressed by my selfish and prideful attitude of independence and He delights when I lean on Him, and honestly, I do too. My strength will never be enough, not even close. And when I rely on Him, life is better. Not less hard, but the burden is not mine to carry. He provides me peace during those periods of turmoil and pain.  I know He's capable and willing; He's proven that time and time again.  He's eternally faithful to carry me through all matters of life; all that He requires is my trust.

Because I do live a thrilling life worth documenting. Right?

Helloooo...Anyone other than Paige and people who pine after my updates/writing still read this thing?  (which is weird, a tad bit creepy, and all too flattering.  I mean, guys, it's been almost a year.  Desperate much?)

I honestly do enjoy writing...it's theraputic (sometimes) and I crack myself up at my oh-so-witty banter with myself.  But seriously, I rarely feel like I have anything worthwhile to post.  As hilarious as it is to me that I keep referring to the piles of tasks that I sometimes receive at work as a "butt-load of paperwork" and how incredibly awesome it was that I just ate an entire pizza and watched a terribly depressing movie on my Friday night alone, I don't feel like that translates well into blogging, nor do you care all that much.

But I could be wrong.  And because the only way some people get updates from me is through this blog (which is also depressing - Paige, our visits cannot be annual.  Jess, we need to skype regularly!), I should and/or could keep this up at least a little bit, right?  I mean, sometimes something awesome happens and you need to know.  Sometimes I can be super theological or I have a new insight into something/God's teaching me something new (or old, and I just have to relearn it again and again.).  I could definitely blog about that!

Or, this could be my blog for the year and you'll hear back from me in another 10-12 months.  We'll see.

In my shoes

I watched the movie Limitless on Sunday with dad, and I couldn't stop thinking about it the rest of the night.

The premise of the story is that this average guy who's hit a rough patch in life is given a pill that enables his brain to work at full capacity. He's able to think clearly, remember details from his past and put together connections that no one else is able to do. Without this pill, he slips back into the old Ed and loses all ability to function as he had before. But knowing what he is capable of when he's taking the pill, he continues seeking it out.

This is actually exactly what being on stimulants is like for me.

Without them, my brain is in a cloud of fog and fatigue. I can't think clearly, have trouble focusing, and if you're lucky enough, I may just fall asleep on you while we're holding a conversation (don't take it personally) (also, this has actually happened a few times. If you're reading, thank you for understanding, and I am still so sorry).

But within 10 minutes after taking a pill, my mind is awakened and I'm....well, awake. I can complete tasks, work efficiently, think critically, read and analyze. Comparatively, I feel limitless. But I can tell, within 5 minutes, of when my medicine has worn off. It reflects a physical change as well; my roommate/coworker can tell visually when they have worn off and when they kick on.

I'm not sure if there's a point to any of this (ahem...the last pill I've taken today wore off several hours ago) other than to say that if you want to have any understanding of how different my two worlds are, you should watch Limitless.

Also, my stimulants do not help me learn foreign languages fluently within a few days. Or create algorithms within the stock market to predict stock changes. Or know kung-foo from video games (because 1. we didn't have video games growing up and 2. that's just a knock-off from the tv show Chuck)

I need some time alone, but it's not what I want

I'm really tempted to vent like mad, right here, right now. I want to unleash all the fury that my womanhood possesses and ream someone out. I'm hurt, frustrated, confused, stunned, and every time my mind revisits the issue, all I can think is, "Seriously?!?!"

As temporarily satisfying as that would be, I know my Lord expects differently from me. And the more I pray and give God all my questions as to why this would happen, the more I'm given a sense of....well, pity I guess. I feel SORRY for this person. To be that clearly confused as to where they're going...it's frustrating, I know. I've been there. I want answers to life's questions too.

Being that my love language is physical touch, I really craving people right now. I want so much to cuddle with a roommate and spill my heart, my frustrations. I want to call a friend with a motorcycle to ride around for a while and release my anger and hurt by the intensity of the ride. I want to throw myself at anything else that will distract me from what I don't really have right now.

But I know I need Jesus. I need Him to cradle my heart as I hurt. I need Him as I vocalize my frustration and pain. I need Him to surround me and whisper truth that wipes away the lies that try to infiltrate.

Quick Catchup

It's been a while. Time for blog!! A lot has happened, and it's all really cause-and-effect, so we'll go with that.

- I had a sleep study towards the end of June for some sleep problems (overwhelming fatigue). No, it's not the kind of sleep study where I get paid. Yes, it can be very expensive. With insurance, I was expecting over $2,000 bill from the hospital.

- But my Jehovah Jireh is awesome!! My bill ended up being only $450ish!! THAT is incredible, and knocked me to my knees in praise!

-So now, I've been diagnosed with hypersomnia (essentially a narcoleptic). Yaaaay!! This is great news, honestly. It means the incredible and debilitating fatigue that has plagued me for the past 10 years has a very real cause and now we can DO something about it!!

- To try to get a better night's sleep, I bought a new bed. It's glorious. I did NOT purchase the $150 box spring, who's only purpose is to RAISE THE HEIGHT OF THE BED. That's right, that's all box springs are for nowadays. Can you believe it?

- But since "natural remedies" for hypersomnia really don't do anything, my doctor started me on stimulants. After a little trial and error, we've got something down that's working amazing. I know it sounds silly because few know how ridiculously hard it was for me to just stay awake, but it feels SO GOOD to be able to work all day and not hit a wall every few hours! I'm so glad I decided to pursue medical help!

- Because I can stay awake and focused, I CAN READ AGAIN!! No more falling asleep 2 pages in! My first book? Born To Run. I bought it last Tuesday and am nearly finished with it. I'm pretty sure this is a record for me... Anyway, the book is amazing, SO inspiring, and SO good!! I recommend it!

- Being on stimulants also means I have no more excuse not to go to bootcamp when I'm tired in the morning. I've been up for bootcamp on a much more regular basis now which is great. The more I do it, the more I crave it. It IS kind of like an addiction... But honestly, I have never loved and hated something so much in my life. I want to curse Jeff sometimes because it's SO STINKIN' HARD, but I know I can't. He's incredible at what he does. If I didn't die at least once a week, it'd be hard to justify throwing $100 a month at this. (I'm going into my 7th month)

- Which leads to my most recent race....the Warrior Dash. Jeff and I drove to Kansas City and ran a 5k with a bunch of obstacles and it was so much fun! We dressed up as the birds of war (from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) - so hot, and maybe not the best idea on a high heat index day (someone died from heat stroke in kc that day from the race), but we sure looked awesome. Pictures MAYBE to come. I'll definitely be doing it again next year!!

- And finally

I know you've done it too....

Since Emma moved out a month ago to do an internship in Ohio, I've gotten into the habit of locking the deadbolt behind me when I get home, partially for safety since I'm by myself and partially to get into the habit of doing it because our new "townhouse" will be near a halfway house. (Previous tenants told us that a random man walked into their place while they were home). Yikes...

I just had a "duh" moment. I was watering my new herbs in the backyard and went to go back in through the backdoor and realized it automatically locks.

I've locked myself out of my duplex, and my landlord AND duplex-mates are on vacation, not that it would do me much good because I don't have my cell phone to call either one anyway. And of course, I do this on a day when the heat index is 109. So I'm pacing our yard, sweating it out for several different reasons, and trying to figure out how to break into my house.

I ended up stabbing the window screen, tearing it out, and shoving the very high and freshly painted window open so I can hoist myself in. (did I mention I'm only wearing a tank top and skirt?! I'm sure I could have been mistaken for a burglar were it not for my attire.)

I made it back in the house, just in time to take the pizza out of the oven!!

But now I need a new window screen...one more thing to add to the move-out checklist. Anyone know where to go to get one?

Analogies

Eating with Asian people (Asian families) at an authentic Chinese restaurant is like boiling a frog.

If you throw the frog in boiling water, it jumps out immediately, knowing somethings not right. But if you put the frog in room temp water and gradually heat it to boiling, the frog can't tell the difference in the temp change.

Likewise, if the restaurant puts all the food out at once, you're overwhelmed and only eat a little bit of this and that. But if the food comes out one dish at a time, you keep eating throughout the meal because everything looks so dang delicious and you can't say "no" (not that the Asian family would let you anyway.)

I'm pretty sure I gained weight this weekend from spending it with the Lau's, but I'm afraid to look at the scale to see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I bought 5 lbs of cherries. (What?! They were on sale!!)

The first dozen always taste delicious, but the more you eat, the more they taste funny.

It's kind like writing one word over and over again. Eventually, it just looks wrong, regardless of the fact that it's spelled correctly.

They're. Everywhere.

Last week, I spent about 5 days camping outside for Cornerstone Music Festival; it was a lot of fun, and HOT. And there were a ton of spiders.

Honestly, I could care less about spiders. Typically, they don't bug me and unless they are larger than a quarter and in the bathroom where I am most exposed, I'll leave them alone. And considering I was OUTSIDE all day during that camping trip, I couldn't really get frustrated. I was in their space, after all.

Apparently, seeing that many spiders left an impression on me though.

Every night since I've been back, I've woken up several times a night thinking about those stupid spiders and how they're probably all over my bed/room/apartment. I'm not freaked out or anything, just incredibly annoyed at the "existence" and "presence" of the spiders. Seriously, go away!!

Needless to say, I haven't slept much the past week. ~sigh~ So here's to hoping that this is a new week and I'll actually be able to sleep like a normal person. Goodnight!

Running isn't a pretty sport.

'Bout time for a blog, eh? I know, it's been a while...

I just got back from running my first 5k of the year around Ada Hayden in my brand spankin' new running shorts that I got today.

I hate them.

If all running shorts have the same function and cut, then I do not know why they exist. I don't know whether it was my running stride or the fact that I get a tad bit damp when I work out (erm....a lot. a lot of damp.) or my booty just fills up the back of them so there's no where else to go, but those shorts were riding UP. At first I thought it was normal for running shorts. "Yeah, this is severely uncomfortable, but maybe this is what everyone looks like?"

That thought lasted 10 steps and then I saw someone. Yeah...shorts aren't supposed to look like this. ~sigh~ I'll stick with my thick cotton yoga pants, I guess. (and why is there so much extra fabric up front?!)

On a more positive note, I beat my last 5k time by a few minutes. Granted, I didn't have a stopwatch to get an official time, but I left my car at 8:05 and got back just before 8:40 including a warm up and cool down walk of about 5 minutes each AND I had to stop a few times to adjust the shorts of doom and I saw my old boss so I chatted a bit. Wow....I seriously dominated that run! Whoooo!!

I'd mention again that I have lofty running goals for this summer, but I'm pretty sure that we've already proved "the boy who cried wolf" theory on that one so I'll lay it to rest for now. (Until I accomplish my goals and then I'll rub it in your face, but because we're friends, you'll be proud of me and celebrate.)

In the meantime, I'll be icing my shins and waiting for my naturally pale skin to replace the cherry red face I get for a job well done.

Greece!!

So.

30 people from our church have the opportunity to go on a study tour of Greece and see all these amazing places. In. Love. How incredible would that be?!?! I desperately want to go.

So instead of paying attention to Jeff Dodge talk (psh, I hear him talk every Sunday. GREECE!!!!), I started trying to figure out how much I'd have to save every month and if this trip is doable considering all the variables.

I could probably manage the time off....maybe. An extra $500 a month to put towards the trip? Might be tough, but definitely doable (GREECE!!!!). Yeah.....this might be possible!!

I sat back in my chair and stared in awe at the ruins of Ephesus on the front of the brochure. And then I Jesus Juked myself (sorta, only my original idea wasn't a joke).

If I applied that kind of discipline with my finances towards my debt, I would have had quite a bit of my student loans paid off (not all, or even most, but a whole lot more than I have now). Insert sad trumpet noise: "wha whaaaaaa"

~sigh~ I'm right.... and this is probably the only time I'm sad that I am. And in my sad stupor, I want to go spend money.

Ahem...I'm a spender, hard core. Not always just for me though. When someone needs money or help financially, if it's feasible for me to give, give I will do! But I most definitely do not have the disciple to stick it in savings or apply it to debt in every circumstance I can.

This is one area I really need to work in. I say all the time that one of the reasons I can't go overseas right now is because I have a lot of student loans that need paid off. But what am I doing on a regular basis to pay those loans off? ~cough~Making only my normal payments~cough~ Gahh! I need to be much better about this.

Slightly Misleading...

Today, Terry came into my office to grab the next client's file; instead of his cheery greeting, he looked me in the eye, completely serious and had the following conversation with me:

Terry: You're in big trouble! (as he swats me with the file)

Me: (with what I'm sure looks like sheer terror in my eyes) What....?

Terry: You're in trouble! You didn't go!

Me: (panicking as I'm frantically trying to think of what meeting I was supposed to go to with him, which I've never done before) I didn't....what?!

Terry: says client's name. You didn't do it!

Me: thinking, "I did everything you told me to!! What did I forget?! What would he be mad about?! He's never mad!! What did I do!?!?!" (and I'm sure that look of sheer terror has only intesified by this point)

Terry: You skipped bootcamp this morning!! (the client is in bootcamp with me)

Are you kidding me?!?! OH MY WORD TERRY!!!! NOT ok!!! I have never panicked as much as I did in those few seconds! He claims he had no intention of scaring me like that, but seriously...who does that?!?!

I have to admit, it's really funny now. And I still think he's a fantastic boss.

Awesome Thursday.

Last Thursday was pretty awesome and I didn't really get to tell you why or what happened. Things got crazy with weddings and sleep (which I should be doing now instead of writing blogs that I will schedule to post later on this week), and blogging slipped away from me. (That's a lie, I've written 3 since Thursday.)

Awesome Thing #1: I saw an old man wearing a business suit driving a big red truck and picking his nose. It made me smile.

Awesome Thing #2: Baby squirrels!!! THEY ARE SO TINY!!!!

Awesome Thing #3: For the second time in less than a week, a bird swooped down in front of my car while I was driving and made direct contact with my grill. No worries though; at least the second bird (possibly the first as well) recovered quickly and flew off as if nothing had happened.

Awesome Thing #4: (This didn't happen THIS PAST Thursday, but did happen on a Thursday and is worth reporting) Jimmy Johns messed up my sandwich so I got a new one and they gave me my money back and on my way back to work from lunch, I saw two doves land and perch on an electrical box.

Awesome Thing #5: Gas prices are falling!!! And unless they spike back up $1.25 in the next week, the prediction that I was told and have been passing a long that gas will be at $5 by Memorial Day will be wrong!!! If it weren't sin, I'd be happy I lied!!!

I REALLY want to say Awesome Thing #6, but I cannot right now. I will tell you soon, but seriously, SO EXCITED. I love love love what my family is doing right now!

On an unrelated-to-Thursday note, I was able to serve a variety of different people A TON all weekend. It was so amazing!! I absolutely adore serving in just about every capacity and I love the strength God gives me to endure and serve without weariness!

(The big question is why can't I have that attitude at Iowa Insulation?)

What I'm bursting to tell you!!!!

Jessi and Mike are pregnant!!! (well, obvious not Mike. But the two of them together, they....yeah, you get it.) They're due the beginning of December. I'm going to be an aunt!!!!

Shane and Jessica are engaged!!! (not to be confused with Jessica, the sister, which would be wrong on so many accounts, but a different Jessica, who we call by her full name so we don't confuse the two) I am SO excited to have Jessica in the family!

Lauren has an INCREDIBLE voice and guitar skills. I would say she's on par if not better than JJ Heller's "What Love Really Means", she's that good. Maybe I should sneak record her and show off her skills to all of you... (You may not care that much, but I LOVE bragging on her, especially since she's so humble about the whole thing)

I adore my family, more than words can express.

'Member That Time?

'Member that time I was riding bikes with my friend down the street and how we were being all cool, patrolling the sidewalk, going back and forth? Her parents came to pick her up in the van (which was silly because she seriously lived a block away) and as they were driving off, I decided to be ULTRA cool and rode my bike one handed while waving with the other hand as I rode alongside the van.

'Member how I made direct contact with the "Dead End" sign at the end of our yard with my front tire and totally crashed?

I figured out what "Dead End" meant pretty quickly.

"We talk of the Second Coming; half the world has never heard of the first." -Oswald J Smith

Happy May 22nd!!!

Honestly, I'm kind of blow away by some of my brothers and sisters in Christ. Against clear evidence in the New Testament, (Matthew 24:45-51 and 1 Thessalonians 5:1-2 being a few passages), someone claims to know the day and hour of our Lord's return and they flock to him? Selling everything the own to spread the word?

When did reading into the Word override reading the literal Word of God saying that we cannot know?

I didn't pick up on this prediction until 2 days prior to the "end times", so I don't know a whole lot about what they're believing or declaring. But from the little I have read, the message they sold everything they have to declare is that the world is coming to an end and that we must repent. As far as I have been able to tell from websites and billboards, there has been no message of Christ and His sacrifice, death, and resurrection were mentioned anywhere. No mention of His great love for us and His desire to be united with us once again. No hint of the gospel anywhere.

How is this supposed to save the people they were trying to warn?

I really want to shake my head and say, "How could you be so blind?! How could you miss SO MUCH?!" I want to put on my judgement hat and shake my finger at them and their ignorance.

But I know that I make foolish assumptions and leaps and have made PLENTY of decisions and actions that are not backed Biblically. I know that I am not perfect by any stretch and therefore have no right to place shame and condemnation on anyone. I know that even in the past few hours, I have gone from one end of the spectrum of mocking them to coming under conviction and knowing that I'm just as lost sometimes as they are.

I'm sorry for all the people who gave up everything to share this message and are now left with nothing because they put their trust in a guy who can "decipher the Bible". I pray none of them "turn away from the faith and betray and hate each other" (Matthew 24:10). Despite the fact that this may be a huge blow, I pray that they would draw closer to Christ. My heart breaks for their disappointment, but I pray they'd find true joy in Christ alone and that they would come to long to tell others about the Saviour who gave His life for them instead of spreading a message of fear.

Matthew 24:14 "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."

If we are so eager for the return of our King, why don't we start sharing with those who have never heard? At the very least, can we begin praying for nations, tribes, and tongues that we don't know about, we never think about, and certainly never pray for? We'll spend all eternity with them in the presence of our Lord (Rev. 7:9), so why not begin caring for them/about them now? They WILL BE your brothers and sisters in Christ someday!

"My Writing Book" by Danielle

Throughout the past few years, I've become less and less sentimental. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I have no tolerance for moving a ridiculous amount of stuff around; while it's fun to reminisce for a few moments when I come across an old school project or useless trinket, in the long run, it doesn't feel worth it to carry these boxes around with me.

(I just cleaned out my closet and found a medium box full of jewelry boxes. I had 8 ring boxes and 3 necklace boxes plus some others. I do not have that many pieces of nice jewelry, and have no idea how I got them all. Also, I've been moving them around with me for at least the past 4 years. face palm.)

But I think I may have come across something I may keep; it's too funny not to. It's a "writing book" from when I was 8 1/2 (I made a very clear point of listing my age).

Apparently, I...

• loved everything related to school (reading, writing, math, "siens", going TO school)
• loved going to Fareway and Walmart
• liked kids who like playing with me (speak much of low self-esteem?)
• feel like a winner when I totally dominate my sister on everything (paraphrased of course...I didn't know the word dominate, but it's pretty clear that's what I meant)
• think kids are awful, ugly, owl, queen, glad, kitten, and feel (I think I was on something)
• would like a cold glass of water
• knew that getting married now would never happen (at 8 1/2?! Apparently, that was on my mind then too...)
• January to March would never happen either (...)
• know that a good reason for going to school is to learn about the "human boty" (hahaha)

Young me was kind of hilarious. This is definitely a keeper.

Mowin'

I mowed for the first time this year. (Our neighbor did about a week ago) I was kind of dreading it. I'm not fond of it, but since our duplex-mate shoveled all winter, it's only fair.

I think the mower knew I didn't want to be with it, so it was extra gracious. I filled it with gas and pulled the starter (?) and she fired up first try!!! Amazing!!

Mowing really isn't too bad. (with the exception of the dirt clods that somehow catch the blade and get thrown straight back making a direct beeline for my face. That part is not fun.) Especially when a good portion of your lawn is creeping charlie and doesn't grow. On the plus side, since creeping charlie has turned brown and our yard is DEFINITELY the eye-sore of the neighborhood, lettin' 'er grow an extra week doesn't make a huge difference. Woot.

Now my hands taste weird. :(

My friend Jodi made an amazing looking salad the other day, and I've been dying to try it!! It was a mexican salad and it had lettuce and spinach chopped up, taco seasoning (i think), avocado chunks, tomatoes, salsa, ranch, and tortilla chips. Yum!!!

So in an effort to be more healthy, I thought I'd give it a shot and bought the stuff this week. Tonight, I tackled the avocado and somehow extracting that....thing from it's shell. After a bit of trial and error and lots of annoying cuts and incisions, I got my chopped avocado!! I rewarded myself by popping a piece in my mouth. After 2.5 bites (the first two were quick; the third, I realized something was up), I spewed it from my mouth (into the garbage, of course). Disgusting!!! It was bitter and hard and I don't know what that tasted like, but it was not avocado!!!!

In an effort to cleanse that bitter taste from my mouth, I had to make myself a bowl of vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup. I'm pretty sure nothing else would have worked.

So....I'm afraid I wasted my time and money chopping up that stupid thing. Is it just not ripe enough? Should I put it in a container and let it sit in the fridge till it ripens a little and gets just a little softer? Or in my cupboard? Or should I toss the whole thing?

I swear, Fareway is turning me off of their fresh produce SO fast.... I'm getting to the point where I am quite dissatisfied...

Mustache Love

Oh, to have a love like this....



Disclaimer...
Mustaches actually creep me out. I do not love them. Men who secretly love me and long to win my heart, please do not grow a mustache.