Gah, I hate it when I have so much I want to blog about but when I sit down, I never remember what it is. Completely frustrating. I'm thinking bullets for this post, yes?

• "The roommate" is moving out on August 8th, we think. Yess!!!
• I love it when I am approached repeatedly to play frisbee! At the park, when one friend left (while we were playing), another would come. I played frisbee all freaking night!!!
• I also love the band Reilly. They're kind of incredible, and may be the soundtrack to my life currently.
• I am so unfaithful and undeserving. But God blesses me and allows me to bless, and I'm so completely grateful for that! I need to do better. I need to make this relationship top priority, and honestly, this is something that's hard for me-I'm distracted easily. Way way too easily...
• I adore clean apartments. I have SUCH an appreciate for them now!!!
• Blue Like Jazz (check) Captivating (check) Love and Respect (in progress and if you EVER plan on being married, this book should be a prerequisite. Incredible. Thanks, Paige, for the recommend) Living Life On Purpose (finally found it yesterday, will be finishing soon) Irresistable Revolution (I'll start it when I receive it from my cousin)
• It's really hard to see someone disappointed and there's nothing you can do to comfort them. I want to reach out and say something, but there's little I can say or do to remove the feeling of failure. :(

On another note, I feel I have the gift of discernment. I feel like I am able to see when Satan is attacking and see through his lies (for the most part). The really irritating thing is when he uses truth and twists it into lies. Unfortunately for me, Satan feeds me those lies, and when I recognize him working in my friends' lives, I want desperately to grab them and show them what's going on, but I'm afraid I'll either come across as a crazy person (paranoid by demons) or I'll be given the look that says, "Duh! It's kind of obvious, isn't it? Thanks for the 'help'." Either way, the general message is "Don't share!" And, because he always makes things so believable, it's hard not to listen. So, at the risk of sounding crazy or obvious, I'll share.
(PS, I think stress is the same way - Satan distracting us from what really matters. I'm not preaching from a pulpit though - I'm just as guilty and continually fall prey to Satan's traps)

I really suck at Spider Solitaire.

So, now that I've gone home and shown my parents, I feel I can share my news (not that it's big or anything): I got my tragus pierced. I fully expected them to not like it (they've always been against 'rebellious' things, and I assumed that included any piercings you couldn't get at Claire's). Reactions?

-Jenny thought I was pointing to my ear because she thought I was talking on the phone.
-Lauren thinks I'm turning into a hard core punk girl and I'll never be the same. (as if piercings change your personality)
-Mom immediately thought of how it's going to appear to potential employers (assuming my two-toned hair doesn't turn them off first...) and forbid me to get another. (I want another.)
-Dad was just grateful I didn't get my tongue pierced (guess the lip ring is out...)
-Amber says only lesbians have their tragus pierced. But after thinking a bit, decided maybe she'll get her's done too (after she does some internet research to reassure herself - she'll get back to me)
-Kimberly noticed and was excited for me - she suggested getting another (the one I want to get)
-A handful of people thought it was cool
-Other than that, no one else really cares (didn't think they would)

Kinda hurts like crap sometimes. No pain, no gain though. And my piercer (Church) was really nice - I think I'll go back to her again.

The family went for another bike ride again today - 20 miles this time. About 4 miles in, I fell down. It's kinda a long story, so I'll just say I slowed to a stop but didn't put my feet down on the ground and the bike tipped over onto a nice cushiony pile of rocks and gravel. Tractors and ice cold cokes may have been involved.

I have yet to play frisbee. (Maybe I can get my dad to?)

I'm still not fully back yet

I am:
*utterly
*completely
*totally
*100%
exhausted.

But I had an AMAZING week last week.

The sad thing is no one cares to hear.

So you, lucky reader, get to hear all. Or a lot. Or maybe just a few pieces. I am quite sleepy...
(I considered not writing until I was fully awake. But that wouldn't be nearly as entertaining, now would it?)

Cornerstone Festival is frickin' amazing. I have no idea how the crap I have not gone until this year. And yes, you can say, "The people you go with can make the festival fun or not," but you'd be false. In my opinion, the festival rocks regardless of who you're with. I'd go back next year even if no one else did.

Awesome:
*fighting demons and weeping at the love of God while walking in the rain after a hard day of feeling rejected
*hearing Deas Vail and then getting a Deas Vail frisbee!!! (yeeeessssss!!)
*walking through the mud with bare feet
*hearing some incredible bands who have not made it big yet, but I'm sure they will
*hanging out in the mosh pit for Underoath (barefoot, mind you. my feet have a purplish hue now. it's not a punch to the back of the head (nearly happened) but I'll take what I can get)
*working at the coffee house and serving people (I loved chatting with complete strangers)
*the incredible weather. one warm day, one rainy day, the rest was perfect!!!!
***hanging out with friends and getting to know everyone better!!

Hilarious:
*nearly getting peed on by a little kid at midnight
*whoopee cushions
*leaking tents (no one but me found this amusing at the time, so I managed to keep my amusement to myself. but really? the chances of 3 tents leaking? funny stuff.)
*Walt drop kicking the sweet iced tea
*Rich!! (pronounced Rick)
*Bawls (it's so fun to be immature...)

Seriously, good time.

In other news, I read through some of my old blogs on myspace (I'm using it now for keeping track of bands) and...um....I was crazy. Very random, quite funny sometimes, and I found myself asking (...) me why I was with him so long? (there were a couple rant blogs that I'm REALLY hoping were privatized before I deleted them) It's interesting, nonetheless, to see exactly how far I've come, how much I've grown. I'm continually shocked that I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago.

So here's to another 2 years of changing for the better! (I've certainly got a good running at it!)

Epic fail.

I could go on....Lord knows I have. But I'm worn out with my story, so we'll just say the whole deal yesterday was an epic fail and we are SO screwed if we're ever attacked. We all died yesterday. Twice.

On the plus side, I was filmed for an interview on the news.

On the down side, they used the other girls that were interviewed beside me, and skipped me.

Oh well, no matter. It wasn't really a waste of my time; it was a waste of theirs. At least we know now that better procedures need to be put into place. And they need to cooperate.

I'm going to run to the grocery store soon and then head to bed. It's another early morning for me, and then I'm heading home for Father's day. :D Love you, dad!!

Small world!!

So I'm doing this role play crisis thing for the next few days. I get all done up with incredibly realistic wounds and I have to be saved by Iowa's first responders and the National Guard. You want me to play the 'damsel in distress' (with a bone sticking out of her leg because of an open fracture)? Hella yes.

So today we had orientation for the whole shpeel. I sat next to this nice looking girl and we chatted for a bit. Since we're both in the same group, we exchanged names and phone numbers. Then we sat there for the next 5 minutes thinking to ourselves, "Hmm....Lampe/Henderson sounds so familiar..." Turns out our dads worked together in Waverly and she was really good friends with my sister. We had fun making fun of the people who asked the same question over and over again.

"So what are we supposed to bring? Do I need an extra pair of clothes? What time do we need to be there? Can I bring my fanny pack?" All legitamate questions (other than the fanny pack question - fanny packs are SO out of style), but it gets ridiculous when the same 5 people keep asking the same 4 questions. Listen people!!

Anyway, I'm putting in 19 hours of playing the victim tomorrow. It'll be fun, but very very long. I'll be keeping my NoDos pills close by. Phfew!!

Yes, Gnarls Barkley, that does make you crazy

It's been a while, and a lot has gone on. Makes it hard to actually write. I'll never remember everything...

Panera still hates me, so I kept looking for jobs. And after a month of having no source of income or anything to do (because astonishingly, I got NOTHING accomplished, other than 20-25 applications), I found a job! I'm working full time at a bakery with plenty of overtime. So much overtime, that the weekend can't come quick enough! This week, we made 33,000 dinner rolls, 5,000 flatbread, and 7,000 bread bowls. Ridiculous. I dream about weighing dough now, no joke. This job is an answer to prayer, and a miracle too - I didn't think it would be possible to earn enough money in a matter of weeks to pay my bills for June, and I had said it would take a miracle to do so. God came through though! And I really couldn't be more grateful! Exhausted, but incredibly grateful!

I love the women I work with too - they're so fun and have a great sense of humor. But they are so lost too. Several of them, if not all of them, have a boyfriend/son/husband who was or currently are in prison. Not surprisingly, these imprisoned significant others don't treat these women like they should - doing drugs, verbal abuse, cheating with other women... And even with all of this, the women I work with adore these guys, despite being hurt by them. It's so sad - but I've got plenty to pray about while I work.

Prior to the job, I finished a few books! (Big accomplishment!!) I read Captivating again (good book!), finished Mere Christianity (probably one of my favorites now), and Just Do Something (I highly recommend it!!). I'm now reading Blue Like Jazz again and Redeeming Love. On the list is the book Jordan recommended (can't remember the name, it's too long. But it's in my cell phone!) and Love & Respect. I'm hoping to get all these done before the summer is finished! I'd forgotten how much I love to read!

Things are going better with my roommate too - it's taken a while, but she's becoming more respectful of my sleep time. I'm not ready to give up the ear plugs yet, but at least she's taking her phone calls to China in the living room and not in our bedroom at 2am. That's a huge improvement!

I love reconnecting with friends!! For real, it's amazing to know how much you're cared for (huge hugs when you see someone you haven't seen in a while are amazing!!). Hugs are always very acceptable. :)

Well, it's time to go fix some clothes and blankets. I've got a couple skirts that need to be taken in (yay for losing weight!) and I want to make a cover for my down blanket. Thanks for your sewing machine, mom!!

You're ridiculous.

But I'm probably more ridiculous for reasons far too many to list here.

It's been bugging me lately that my pinky that I broke in high school isn't straight. My hands aren't symmetric anymore. Granted, they haven't been for 5 years, but it bothers me more now. There isn't anything I can do about it though, short of rebreaking it and taking it to a DECENT doctor who can fix it straight. (The break didn't hurt that much the first time. I laughed the entire time. How bad could it be now?)

The job search continues. In case I haven't asked yet, if any of you know of any place hiring, please hook me up. I'm 4 weeks without a job now, and buying my food with blood money. (If that doesn't cry desperate, I don't know what does)

Speaking of jobs, WTF is up? (frick, not that other naughty f-word I can't bring myself to say or type) Since when did businesses start hiring people who don't care about customers, haven't handed cash transactions, and don't want to serve or work hard for their money?

Not to say I have seen these people in these businesses, but they sure aren't hiring the people who do have a great work history and ethic, have dealt with cash like it's play money, and desire to serve the customer (aka, me).

I'm still trusting, I'm praying, I know God will come through. I don't know His plan, I don't know what He's teaching me (other than patience, faith, trust, perserverance, humility, and a focus on Him - I'm clueless otherwise), but I know He has a purpose for this period of hard times for me.

In closing, I would like to say just how terrible it feels to get flat out rejected by a computer application. You spend 45 minutes giving your typical info, you answer all their questions, and then at the end of it all, you apparently don't qualify for a cashier job even though you've been doing that kind of work for 8 years.

It's almost as bad as being rejected because you don't like someone's beady little eyes, nasty hair swoop, and stupid little hip dance. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now. ;)