Copy Cat

First off, if you (ladies) have not heard of or read Jodi Michelle before, GET ON IT NOW. I have no idea who she is, but I know I love her and her honesty and vulnerability. Most of the time, I read her blog and think, "Dang it!! I was TOTALLY going to say that, only not as eloquently!" (And if you go to her site, you'll see my last post has a few echoes of this post, but I swear it was an original thought at one point...)

I was thinking of posting again and had pretty much thought about what I wanted to say and all that. Then I went to her site and saw she posted on the same topic 2 days ago. For Pete's sake, woman! Get out of my head!

So in the spirit of individuality, I'll say something different. Or the same thing differently.

Please comment... Just this once. (Maybe). I'm perfectly content talking to myself (I'm an excellent conversationalist with myself... we could go on for hours), but it's far more awkward for me when I'm not sure if I'm still carrying on a conversation with someone who checked out 10 minutes ago (or months ago). So for the sake of my sanity, drop a note every once in a while if you can. Much obliged. :)

Life Management

I've noticed a growing number of my female friends own a "Home Management Notebook". At first, I attributed it to being just my married friends who have a home to keep up for their family, but recently, I've seen more of my single friends begin to implement this into their lives as well. For those who don't know (because I certainly didn't), inside are schedules for cleaning, cooking, different recipes for food and homemade cleaning agents, decoration ideas, and pretty much anything else you think might belong inside a home organizational binder.

I have NEVER heard of this concept before. My mom never had such a thing, though I can't see her operating on such a system. It seems very confining to "manage" your home by scheduling when to do cleaning and shopping and what to cook each night. In a way, it makes sense, I suppose; if it's on the schedule to clean the bathroom every Saturday, you KNOW the last time the shower was scrubbed and you don't panic when a friend decides to spend the night and you suspect she may venture into the bathroom to shower the next morning before you've had a chance to wipe away that odd dust that accumulates on the corners of the tub. (see, I definitely don't have any specific examples) Ok, I understand the necessity sometimes...

But my life schedule is always different! It's not guaranteed that I'm going to be home on Saturday - I may be traveling for several weekends in a row. I don't feel this burning desire to schedule my life and tasks and meals like a manager over a restaurant either. And I feel like a lot of these weekly tasks could be accomplished without the use of a schedule, if only I could use my time appropriately instead of hitting gmail immediately after getting home from work.

Oddly, I still feel this pull towards it though. Not necessarily because it's how I function best and how I know things will get done if I do it that way. (In reality, the binder will sit in my nightstand where I'll pull it out every few months, stuff papers inside of it that have been floating around/stuffed in the same nightstand as the binder and throw it back into the darkness for the next month. Again, I don't have specific examples on similar binders.) Because so many of my friends are utilizing this management notebook and their lives are so "clean" and organized and simple, I feel like I need to do it this way too in order to have a clean, organized and simple life. The end result appeals to me greatly, but definitely not the means on how to get there.

So while I try to figure out how to accomplish such a smooth life, I'll make do with small steps.

Small step #1: Be intentional. Vague, yes. Working? More yes. It can be as small as doing the dishes in the 10 minutes I have while cooking dinner to setting aside time to read each day and being deliberate about which book I read to even bigger life things that I can't even contemplate right now.

Next, I need to work on making a Dove Dark Chocolate bar last longer. It may not be related to accomplishing an organized and simple life, but I still think it's very important.

Confession

I hate new years resolutions.

You might ask if my reason for hating them has anything to do with the fact that I can't keep them.

Maaaaaaybe....

BUT. I hate the fact that people don't make the decision to change something (eat healthier, excersize, treat/pamper yourself more, manage money better, ect ect ect) when they realize something's wrong. I get it, the new year makes for a nice beginning point, and year long goals are easier to manage when it starts January to December. But still...if you realize that you've put on 10 pounds in the past 2 years, why wait to do something about it?

To be completely fair, I'm doing an awful lot of assuming and am only guessing that a lot of people do this. My basis for such an accusation? I did it. Guilty.

Of course, this goes a bit deeper than what I'm admitting. Having everyone list of their new years resolutions reminds me that once again, another year has passed and once again, I'm not where I thought I would be right now.

I've already mentioned before in blogs years past that I thought by now, I'd be married to an amazing man and have a kid or two that I stay home with. Obviously, that's not the case; I've reconciled that long ago, but I'm still reminded of those old dreams when I see friends moving onto the next stage of their lives.

Instead of having aspirations that are dependent on other people (i.e. marriage and kids), a few years ago I decided on ones that I can control more: paying off student loan debt, enjoying/growing in my job, moving towards missions, that sort of thing. And guess as to what I've done/been doing?

Zilch.

I get so embarrassed about it too. I beat myself up over how I'm not accomplishing much and how I haven't done this or that. I hate how I had all these big plans for myself and how I was going somewhere, but nothing (substantial) has happened.

But truth be told? No one else cares but me. No one else is as torn up about the fact that I'm not debt-free and doing accounting overseas except me. As far as I know (and please correct me if I'm wrong, I can take it), no one is ashamed of where I am in life.

So really, I need to stop making a big ado about nothing and actually ENJOY where I'm at right now. I need to stop apologizing to myself about not reaching a certain milestone when I think I should be. I DON'T have to have everything done by 25. CS Lewis didn't even become a Christian until he was 33 years old. Julia Child didn't start cooking until she was 37. Jesus didn't start His teaching until he was 30. I've got time. (Thank you for the reminder, Lauren!)

The big stuff happens in your 30's....I've got at least 5 years. :)

It's just a dip in the roller coaster.

It hasn't been a month, but I'm ready to post again. Hope you don't mind. :)

When I looked back at my (few and far between) posts, I noticed I was going through a spiritual high earlier this summer. God was rocking my life and it was awesome! I was really thinking through some things in my life and calling myself out on things.

Man, that seems like forever ago.

My spiritual life, like many others, is best characterized as a roller coaster. I'm high at some points, and then I drop low with a plummet that makes my stomach lurch (we're talking the really scary roller coasters, not the fun ones.)

The thing that kinda separates me (in not a good way) is that I'm easily affected by the events around me. Depending on who I spend the weekend with/what I've done with my evenings and the little things surrounding those events, I could be high or I could be low on a smaller scale within that general trend.

In the spirit of vulnerability, I'm kinda low right now. I know what I need to do (get in the Word more and really seek Christ), and I'm working my way there. But for now, I'm low. Blame it on the busyness of life or any other excuse you want, but the truth is I haven't made my God a priority like I should. I need to be better about guarding my time with Him.

I went to a missions conference 2 weekends ago, and it got me excited about missions again - I hadn't realized that my passion was waning. My direction hadn't changed, but my vigor in pursuing it had. I loved Revelation 7:9 "After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb."

Every nation, tribe, people and language!!! Can you imagine?!?! All crying out in one voice, "Glory to God who reigns on high!!"

And if that didn't rock my world enough, God gave me just a tiny little taste of it on Thursday at Anthem. I wish you could have been there, in the top row of the balcony in Cornerstone's auditorium. 1,200+ people crammed into the room, every single hand stretched out and giving God glory by singing, "With one voice we shout Your praise, Holy holy be Your name, glorified and lifted high, we long to bring You praise!" 2,400 hands!

I wish I could say I was belting it out with them. I wish I could say I had hands outstretched before me. But all I could do was sit and weep in the back row, blessed beyond belief by a church body that is so sold out for Christ, grateful that God would give me such a small glimpse into what heaven is going to be like.

If that doesn't give you a renewed fervor to pursue Christ and have joy regardless of the circumstances around you, I don't know what will. I'm on my way back up.

Also, it's amazing how a simple verse that you've heard all your life can bring you to your knees. 2 Corinthians 5:21 "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."

What do you do when you're dipping low in the roller coaster of life?

Ah reunions....

Why, hello!! Remember me?! Oh, you don't? Hm...well, I suppose I can't blame you. I've gotten particularly good at saying, "We should definitely get together!" (write a blog) and then totally fail at any attempt to reconnect, whether it's for lack of material or motivation.

Well, get ready for a purge of epic proportions. (Maybe.) Holy crap, it's been forever since I blogged...

It's been 2 months in the duplex, and I'm still, as Paige refers to it as, "nesting". I very much associate this phrase with being pregnant and preparing the nursery, and since I have not been with a man nor received any divine message from God (as I'm pretty sure there's just one Messiah, not two to come), there is certainly no bun in the oven. Whatever you want to call it (anything but "nesting"), it's been fun.

Trim has been painted (while on steroids, which are incredible, by the way. No wonder athletes take it!), cabinets have been organized, basements have been deflooded, mold has been removed, furniture has been arranged... it definitely feels like home now.

So besides making my home feel like my home and working, what have I been up to that has kept me so busy and away from you all?

Taxes.

I know it's not tax season yet, but it's quickly approaching, and soon I will be sitting behind a desk either delivering delightful news that the government garnished more than they should have and you get to pay off credit cards from Christmas shopping or breaking the devastating news that you claimed far more exemptions than you should have and unfortunately, you owe quite a sum. Can't wait, really.

I have to admit though, I am a bit of a tax nerd. It's like a puzzle really, and if you fit just the right pieces together, something marvelous can come of it (i.e. money!). I've enjoyed doing them thus far, but part of that may be that when the information is presented to me, it's all nice and organized within 2 or 3 pages of my textbook, and it's not all mashed into a shoebox where possible tax deductible receipts and paystubs have resided for the year.

Well, it's time to close, for now. Just like you shouldn't feed a buffet to a starving man (his body can't handle the mass quantities of food that he's not used to), I will refrain from delivering every juicy detail from the past 2 months. I'll be back though. With pictures. =D

Flood of '10

"Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Literally." -Katie

Tis true. Ames had (last I heard) 8 water main breaks and water levels plummeted to dangerous levels. We're advised to not flush the toilets, take less than 5 minute showers, not do laundry, and boil water if we want to wash dishes, cook, drink, and any other necessary water uses.

It's shocking how priorities change when you don't have clean drinking water. I have given up trying to drink half my body weight in ounces, I have showered far less than I am comfortable with, and I feel horrible about pouring water out of my pasta after it's been cooked.

I was asked to help move a friend out of her flooded apartment this morning. I had already made plans, but I begrudgingly thought, "Fiiine. I'll go be a good Christian...." (totally contradicting what a good Christian should do?) As I rode my bike there, I passed a church that was passing out free water.

Uh oh...

It seems absurd to me to be battling over whether or not I should stop for free water. I rode my bike in circles for at least a minute trying to decide whether I should bail on the friend for free water (clean water!) or whether I should keep moving forward. I'm so THIRSTY!!! And it's 3 gallons!! That's a lot of water!

I ended up leaving the free (clean) water, crashed my bike on the way to the friend's, and once I got there, found out they had already finished moving her. Soooo....I went back and got the water. Win win win. Except for the bloody knee. THAT I WASHED WITH THE FREE CLEAN WATER!!!

So much to do!

It's been just under a week since we moved in, and I'm LOVING it so far! It's a place of my own! My living room, my kitchen, my bedroom, my bathroom!!! And Emma's, of course...

So far, we've:
-thoroughly cleaned all the kitchen cabinets and walls and doorways (my rag was DIRTY!! Gross!)
-got our kitchen unpacked and set up, complete with a pantry for our food since cabinet space is limited.
-finally arranged our furniture in the living room (not permanent, but works until we get another couch - we've got so much room!!)
-scrubbed. the. crap. outta. the. shower. Holy cow, it was bad. And holy cow, it's clean now.
-mowed TWICE and raked up the 1 1/2 inches of dead grass that covered the top (the last tenants were kind enough to NOT mow the previous 2-3 weeks before they moved out)
-seized the mower engine because the grass was so wicked long and it was low on oil (mowers need oil?!)
-set up our internet!
-subsequently broke said internet within 5 minutes
-called and got it fixed for sure. High speed internets, here we come!

It doesn't seem like much, I know. But I've given up most of my evening activities just to get stuff done! (I only have 4 hours to work with since I try to start getting ready for bed at 8:30)

Things we still need to do:
-repaint all the trim and doors and cabinets in kitchen and bathroom (surprisingly, yellow white and true white do not go together...hmm...)
-repaint my furniture (got my paint, just need to get on it...hopefully tonight)
-organize my room - I'm still in shambles because I have no furniture yet!
-paint the kitchen! We're thinking burnt orange...it'd be a nice contrast to the white cabinets, stove, and fridge.
-paint my room - some shade of light grey I think... I don't have a whole lot of confidence in my color palate choices, especially after my run in with dark grey/navy fiasco. BTW, they did let me exchange the paint, contrary to their policy on returning tinted paint. I think it was the fact that I went well over 100 miles out of my way to find a single quart of paint. Ridiculous.
-find a color scheme for the awesome living room we have
-create my frame-art. I've got this wicked awesome idea for wall decor. Pictures WILL come
-figure out curtains for our living room - the slat blinds are NOT going to cut it.

So much to do, but so much potential!! Way excited about this!