Intro + Part 1 = I'm tired of writing.

Ok, fine. You got me. It's been __ weeks since my last post. And, as one might guess, a ton has happened. So much so, that I've dreaded writing because SOME OF YOU decided to move overseas and I can't tell you personally about everything that has happened and you're really the only one who is clueless at this point. A lot of work for 2 people....(cough-jess and mike-cough)

But since I love you and miss you (man, do I miss you), I'll write you a freakin' blog. 3 part series, like I suggested a few days ago. I even thought about what my 'parts' would consist of. And, just like me, I forgot. Sooo here goes on-the-fly thinking.

Part 1: Serious Chiner.

Part 2: Funny Stories Chiner.

Part 3: Post Chiner.

Thus begins my story.

China was pretty awesome, but probably in a different way than you think and one that I really can't explain. It was really sweet to see a completely different country than I have never experienced in any fashion before, but I'm not sure what my true feelings toward China are. The best way to describe it, at this point, is that awkward place when a guy and girl are maybe thinking about a possible relationship but they're just not sure if they're ready or if their heart is truly in it. Funny, I've been back 2 weeks and couldn't figure out where I was, but that's a pretty accurate description...

So anyway, in case I didn't tell you (and I don't care to bother to look at previous posts to make sure), we hosted Christmas parties the first week and shared Jesus with over 500 university students that week alone (INSANE!). The following week and a half was spent doing follow-ups with those who seemed interested in knowing more.

Nearly the entire trip was g0-g0-GO! which was really good; God blessed us abundantly with the energy needed to build a lot of relationships and hold out patience for the communication barriers. Surprisingly, our last party was just as energetic as our first, and that is ONLY by God's grace.

At one point, I was able to share a part of the gospel using a few Chinese words I had learned; I loved how their eyes lit up when I (attempted to) use Chinese! Granted, it may have been because I had tried to use their language, but I know that greater work is done in their hearts when you use their heart language to speak truth to them.

The biggest lessons I learned while in China didn't come through interactions with the Chinese people or even through China itself; it came through realizing my own shortcomings and dealing with the sin issues that resulted.

On this trip, I lost a lot of possessions; it seriously seemed like every other day, I either lost something, or would have lost it if it hadn't been for team members saying, "Danielle, do you have your hat? Gloves? Bag?" I swear, I'm not that irresponsible! (But see?! Even there, you can kind of see what sin issue I have...[yes, the ONLY one ;) ]) The climax came when I reached into my bag and realized that I had lost my portion of the trip money. Oh my word, I just wanted to collapse and cry. How could I, the ACCOUNTANT, lose money?! My team was amazing and said nothing of it. "Danielle, really, it's ok! It's better the money than you. Don't think anything of it." But no consequences? No punishment of having lost so much already and then losing the money?! I couldn't accept that, so I punished myself by consistently guilting and beating myself up. Go figure, team unity wasn't too strong at that point. But God laid it on thick the next morning during personal time.

1 Peter 5:5-7 "Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Thank you, Jesus. My teammates were extending grace toward me and wanting me to be free of the guilt, but my pride wouldn't allow it! Dang, it's one of those sin issues that, if you think you don't have it, you do. And just to drive the point home, God gave me this one the next day:

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

Touche. I considered myself better than my teammates because I was the co-leader, and the oldest at that! I am better than that. I'm above losing things, like some 5 year old. Ahh, but then, there's that nasty haughty spirit, another facet of pride. Darn you, Satan!

So yeah, lesson learned. "Thanks, God! I'll be on my way..." Nope, He had more plans and lessons on humility. More on that in part 3 though. (Gotta have the draw! Ya know?)

I also learned more about what ministry I'm suited toward as well. (This is it, I promise. I know long blogs are hard. :( ) I adored Kosova and really am indifferent to China; in Kosova, I did more philanthropic work and manual labor whereas in China, it was ALL evangelistic. Makes sense if you look at my list and ratings of spiritual gifts; serving/helping hands is at the top of my list and evangelism is quite low.

In the past, I've struggled to reconcile the fact that if, Lord willing, I go overseas for missions work, that I'd be in an office doing accounting; it seems to me that if I'm a true missionary or working in missions, what I'm doing should be hard or it doesn't count. But God equips us with different gifts for a reason; we can't all be evangelists or accountants or technicians or teachers. Evangelism is definitely not my area of skill; I felt like regardless of how many times I practiced sharing (remember... the gospel was shared with 500 people. Lots of practice.), something just wasn't clicking in their minds and I wasn't being effective. That's ok though; God can use anything, and I'm only responsible for planting the seed, not forcing it's growth. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I'll share. But it's comforting to see, with finality, that it's ok to be an accountant.

(lol, that last sentence just sounds ridiculous.)

Stay tuned for part 2