Sunday, June 27, 2010

Desperate Prayer

God, I am SO bad at remembering that it's not about me. I am so bad about thinking that my life is about my needs and what I'm missing out on and why I'm feeling this particular way. I completely miss out on what You have me here for and why I was created.

It's not to be a wife. It's not to be girlfriend. It's not to be a good friend. Its not about being pretty or in shape or funny or gifted. It's not about looking good because of some charity I did or sounding wise because I happened to say the right thing at the right time. These things may come about as a result of living out my purpose, but they are not the reason I was created.

It's all for You, Lord. It is all for You!! Everything You have done, everything You have created, it is all to bring glory to Your name! Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame, and the cry of my heart is to bring You praise.
You are the only One that can satisfy me. You are the only One that can fulfill every need I have in my life. Lord, I want to be needed so much - so use me God. Use my gifts and my talents and my belongings. Give me opportunities to pour myself out for others, not for my sake, not for their sake, but for the sake of bringing glory to Your name. Lord, I don't want to be lonely anymore - so bring me people I can minister to. Give me people that I can pour my life into until there is nothing left of me, and then fill me up again so I can continue to be a blessing for Your name's sake. Lord, I want security - so stretch me and break me so I see no other way. Lord, you've brought me to this place before and came through and blessed my life so much - do it again! I ask as a small child delighting in her Father over something amazing that He did. So Abba, do it again!

Lord, You know my life is Yours. Thank you for waiting patiently for me to relinquish control over each area of my life, sometimes several times over. I forget easily of what I promised and why it's worth it, but Lord, I know You are. I know how smoothly life flows and how joyful I feel when I'm walking with You. I don't know why I stray, but thank You for forgiving me each time I do and welcoming me back with open arms.

God, I know You want to do big things through me. I don't know when or where or how, but Lord, please guide me and be with me. Jehovah Jirah, I know You will not leave my side. I know You desire to be with me and comfort me in ways I do not understand; God, I open my heart to You. Renew me. Change me. Make me more in tune with You. I know this means trials and tribulations are in store, but I rest on the truth that You will not place anything in my path that I cannot handle. I trust You with my life - I'd be silly not to.

I love You, Lord.

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