Sorry...

I know it's been forever. I apologize. I really sucked this past month.

However, a lot was happening, but at the same time, it was the same kind of thing over and over, so I didn't feel the need to blog, especially since I had emailed everyone I knew about what was going on. (Grandma's health)

In case you live under a rock or I didn't tell you (the latter is much more likely, so I apologize), Grandma Henderson fell and broke her femur. After the surgery, they discovered fluid on her lungs and her kidneys weren't functioning well. Post several MRI's and CAT scans, we discovered she had kidney cancer (again) that had metastasized to her bones (not good). It's stage 4 (terminal) and she's going to be in a ton of pain until she dies. Upon her death, I honestly do not know where she would go, but I have a pretty good idea that it wouldn't heaven. So if I haven't asked you (and even if I have), please pray for her. I really want to have the comfort that she knows Christ and will be going to heaven.

In other news, I'm going to Florida in June! My old church is taking their high school there as a mission trip kind of thing and they needed more female leaders, so they asked me. Way cool!! However, this body is NOT going in a swimming suit IN Florida. So I've started exercising (shocking!) and eating much better. I'm hoping to lose 20 pounds? but we'll see. My old exercise blog is back up if you want to check that out for a laugh or two.

I'm hardly a walker, let alone a runner, so I'm taking it slow to begin with. I can't expect to run a 5K a week after I start running for the very first time. It's really not reasonable, and very few people would argue with this.

I kinda see this same idea/concept concerning prayer. (betcha didn't see that one coming...)

I didn't pray a lot before I started my prayer candle. In fact, it was pretty much limited to group settings where we all prayed and when someone had a specific prayer request (I'd pray right there if I remembered, but really, only that one time - I'm deeply sorry if you're one of the ones I never prayed for. I really regret not being there to intercede for you). I was very weak and my pray endurance muscles were atrophied. So when I started my prayer candle commitment, thinking that I could pray 30-45 minutes a day and work that thing down, it didn't take long to realize that I just don't have the 'muscles' to do that yet. I should, theoretically, be at 2/3's of my candle left - we'll just say that it's not.

Just like I need to start slow with running, I need to start slow with praying. My end goal IS to be able to pray that long and be a strong prayer warrior, but I'm so weak right now; I fall asleep, I get distracted, and I fantasize conversations that I had or will have (but probably not) in my head, always adding more witty lines that what I actually said (or ever could say). I'm learning how to pray over my distractions and talk to God on a basic level. I'm learning to look beneath my fantasies to the underlying condition of my heart. I'm learning to be more committed to praying for someone continually and how to keep a journal to keep track of who and what I've prayed for. But I've still got a long way before I can run my 5K.

So I will not be completing my goal of burning down my 70 hour candle before May. I'm still going to work at it, and I'm still motivated to get there because my life has been rocked in the awesomest way since I've started trying. But I know, realistically, I can't train for and be ready for a marathon in 3 months.

Oh Technology...

We've never been good friends; perhaps that's my fault. I've refused to get to know you at all. Quite frankly, you scare me. You require more knowledge than I possess or could even hope to understand. Nobody likes a complicated person; don't you know that?

I knew you were bitter against me, but I never thought you'd take your retribution on me with such great vehemence.

You smote my car!

You gave my ipod amnesia!

And there is a technological curse upon our office!

You're just plain mean. It's a cruel trick to wreak havoc on simpletons' lives just to watch and laugh maniacally while wringing your hands or perhaps petting a fluffy white cat (Technology=Dr. Claw?)

But I wanted you to know you haven't bested me.

I'm READY for repair costs thanks to the emergency fund I've built up over the past month.

I backed up my favoritest music last summer when my laptop threatened destruction (and accomplished said self-destruction AFTER my backup was complete) and will only lose maybe 2 or 3 "kinda want" artists. In fact, thank you for helping me finally clear out the music I don't mind but couldn't bear to rid of because of my indifference.

As for our office....well, we'll consider it this way.

Technology: 1 Danielle: 2

I win.

Down but not out

Another book down, and we're just over one week into March! Psh, this book thing is easy!

Last week was rough though. I was exhausted all week and had no motivation or energy to do anything. I could have (and maybe did a few times) cast blame on different activities that sucked my energy, but truth be told, I sucked. I stayed up late, accomplishing nothing (meaning no prayer time or Bible reading) and while I made use of my time, it was not a God-honoring use of my time. I need to seek Him more throughout the day, including mornings and evenings. God should not be reserved for a specific time slot of my day; I should be focusing and meditating on Him continually throughout.

Despite last week being pretty rough (by my own doing), I still feel closer with God and more at peace than I ever have. In the past, having a bad week like that may have gotten me down, and I would have given up; that's just how I dealt with failing God. But THANK GOD, His mercies are new every day!

I thought of a funny China story today:

During the last week of our trip, we visited the Great Wall. Beijing had just been hit with a blizzard of epic proportions (by Beijing standards, considering they didn't have shovels), and it was so cold! Before we made our trek up the mountain of stairs before us, we decided on brunch at Subway to warm ourselves up. When we entered, they had some awesome techno music going on, and being the attention-drawing Americans that we were, we started a 'rave' within Subway while waiting for our orders to be taken. Full out American dance party! It was so awesome! But the funny thing was, the Chinese Subway workers could care less about the scene that was in front of them; we were completely ignored! Mind you, we weren't dancing to draw attention; what better way is there to warm up than to bust a move? But honestly....if a bunch of foreigners came into your store and started dancing up a storm, you'd at the very least watch, wouldn't you?