20 May-Not-Knows (but probably-don't-cares)

1. When I make espresso drinks, (especially when I'm steaming milk) I clench my jaw. I'm concentrating so hard on steaming the milk just right that I unconsciously clench my jaw. I just discovered this yesterday.

2. I've been formulating this list for the past few days. But I know for a fact that I am going to struggle with coming up with 20 may-not-knows about me. It's one of those things...when you're trying to remember something really hard, you'll never remember it. But 3 days later, you'll be like, "What?! I could have TOTALLY used that and it would have been awesome!!" I have these moments often.

3. I apparently know accounting better than I know God. I can articulate accounting procedures like it's no one's business. But when it comes to describing the things of God, I'm at a complete loss. I can explain my passion and love for God, but I'm not sure many would understand. This terrifies me.

4. Thankfully, Perspectives has given me a hunger that leaves me wanting to know more and more. I've been craving deep conversations lately - something much deeper than the superficial materialistic conversations I've been having as of late. It's hard to get into a deep conversation though. (I've always considered myself blunt, but saying "Let's talk deep stuff" doesn't seem like it would be an effective conversation starter) I do plan on taking an Apologetics and Theology course through Salt next year. I really can't wait!!

5. My last semester at ISU is going to consist of graduate accounting courses; I'm an undergraduate. It's going to be awesome.

6. This is probably more obvious (if you know me well): I'm passionate. When I love, I love big. When I'm excited, I'm very giddy. When I'm stressed or upset, it's definitely evident; I crash hard. (my blogs are an example of this. When God is moving in my life, I'm way pumped. But when things don't work out, I get frustrated and stressed. Usually, it's only the small things that do this to me.)

7. That being said, I have an unusually odd ability to accept really hard things. I'm not sure if it's just my philosphy at life (which I wasn't quite aware that I had) or a God given ability, but I don't get weighed down by the things in this world. Yes, saying goodbye to Jess at the airport was hard, but I clearly didn't take it as hard as mom and Lauren (Jess, I love you dearly, I know you know that.). I guess I have an easier time understanding and accepting that there's little I can do to change things. I've also considered the possibility that God is changing what breaks my heart. But whatever the reason may be, I am able to move on from difficult situations with an odd ease and sense of understanding.

8. Jeska, this one goes back to your honest post. My chance to be 100% honest. Other than when I was a kid just sharing what I learned at church, I really haven't witnessed to anyone. I tried once and ended up having the Gospel shoved back down my throat (the guy I was talking to was a religion major from a liberal college and made it a hobby to intentionally catch Christians with some difficult questions and made fools of them). Needless to say, he knocked the wind out of my sails and I've been afraid to share since. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem sharing my faith and what I plan on doing for Him outside of graduation. But I cannot present the Gospel; I feel like I don't know enough. (Actually, now that I think about it, a few mormons did this to me as well...)

9. I have the worst time ever when it comes to finishing books. I get just a few chapters from the end, and I cannot finish it, no matter how good the book is. If I were to just sit down and finish all the books I'm nearly done reading, I would probably read at least half a dozen to a dozen books in one day. I'm honestly that bad.

10. I have filled out 3 applications to audition for singing on the worship team. I have yet to audition because I can't bring myself to turn in the application.

11. It's 2 am and I'm obsessed with finishing this thing because I hate quitting when things are half done. I'd rather sit down, finish it all in one shot and go than to take several stabs at it. I feel like, more than likely, every subsequent time that I sit down to work on it, the finished product will become more and more mediocre. (So why on earth did I decide to start writing this at 1 am?!)

12. I. Hate. Clothes shopping. I may be the only female on the earth who loathes this activity to the very core of her being, but I'll stand by my word. Nothing will put me in a worse mood than shopping for hours and ending up with minimal or no purchases. The only thing that will counteract the absolute disdain for these outtings is my mom. I swear, the woman can make a fun affair of going to the dentist. (Oddly, she has. Twice.)

13. I don't care what all of you say, my dad is the best. If I need wisdom, guidance, an extra $20 for gas, or a just really good talk, I can go to him. And not many dads will still take their daughter out on a 'daddy-daughter date' when she's about to turn 23. I'm seriously looking forward to tomorrow with amazing anticipation!!

14. Definitely not as interesting, but I have an eye twitch. It's incredibly annoying! When my eyes get tired, my left eye will twitch incessently. It's apparently not noticable to anyone else, but I can definitely feel it and I feel like I look like one of those crazed cartoons right before they flip out.

15. I think I could sleep for 24 hours in any particular day. It may not be deep REM sleep all day, but I could definitely stay in bed semi-conscious for 24 hours. Perhaps I'll try this someday. (Not likely though)

16. I am slowly perfecting my slow pour for latte art. I think it's the first step! (After learning to pour only as much milk as you need and foaming it just right so you don't have too much foam but enough to create a design...) I think all I need to do is learn how to move the stream in such a way to create a design. By the way, I made a heart last week! It was amazing!! The customer took it before I had a chance to take a picture though. :(

17. I often have conversations in my head; not necessarily with myself, but with other people. See, I anticipate situations that may occur with different people and will enact the conversation that ensues. If I'm not feeling particularly creative, I'll reenact a conversation that I've had in the past. If you ever catch me in one of these conversations (because I do actually mumble them out loud...it's not in my head), please don't think I'm a crazy. I'm just bored. Pretend you didn't notice.

18. There's a reason why I wear mostly t-shirts and jeans (not just for comfort). I can be extremely self-conscious sometimes.

19. I know it's a part of life, but I have a very hard time seeing friends 'move on' and grow apart. It's hard to believe that someone I shared so much with can just move on and have no desire to see me again. (I don't mean for this to sound prideful or selfish like I'm someone who deserves to have everyone's love and attention. It's just hard not to see a desire to meet up with someone being reciprocated.)

20. There's no twenty. I'm going to bed. :P