'Member that Time?

'Member that time that I went to Olive Garden with Paxton, despite knowing that sometimes I can get very sick off of it? 'Member how after we walked out of the restaurant to the car, I knew something was very VERY wrong?

We didn't get very far before I started panicking and told Pax to stop RIGHT NOW. He protested until he saw my fierceness and stopped in front of Target where I flew into the store and made a mad dash to the bathroom.

Wave after wave of abdominal cramps followed by the worst kind of sickness came over me with no hesitation or pause. And 'member how it was peak shopping time during the weekend and the bathroom was constantly full? Yeah, it's a good thing bathroom turnover is only about 2 minutes because I'm not sure anyone else could have stomached being in there much longer (not to mention no one knew who I was...). And then some lady thought it would be a wonderful idea to bring her cart into the bathroom and park it right in front of my stall!! She didn't stay too long after the next wave.

'Member how Pax finally called me about 30 minutes in to ask if I was ok?

"No. I need you to do two things...."

Eventually, I came out. Very tired. Very pale. Very very very dehydrated.

Is it odd that I still crave to go to Olive Garden, even after this?

It IS the most important meal of the day...

Breakfast has become my new favorite meal (again.). When else can I stuff myself on a ridiculous amount of protein and carbs, all in the name of gaining back the energy I've spent on working out hardcore?!

My typical breakfast consists of a glass of cranberry grape juice (ok, so that's not THAT good for me, but I splurge), a cheese/ham/green onion scramble with THREE eggs, and a bowl of strawberry yogurt.

In an effort to broaden my breakfast horizons, I bought english muffins the other day. Did you know certain brands of english muffins aren't sliced down the middle? Why on earth would english muffins NOT be sliced down the middle?!

Regardless, I have to tear them open and toast them, and then when it's time to butter them, I feel like I'm buttering the moon, what with all it's craters and such. Have you ever tried buttering the moon? Didn't think so. I'll tell you this much, it's frustrating. I do not like butter filled craters for my breakfast, thankyouverymuch.

PS, sorry for the lack of blogs lately. Bootcamp kills my creativity and I can only do one or the other. Fortunately for you, I skipped bootcamp yesterday to go see my sister WHO'S BACK FROM JAPAN! and so you get me back for the time being. Lucky!!!!

New Game Show Idea

What's In Your Purse?!?!

Today's contestant is Danielle and she has a lot of excuses for what's going on in there...

3 pens

Tide stick pen

4 kinds of chapstick

Dryer sheet

2 toothbrushes

A box of Gas-X

A coupon for a dozen free eggs

An Ipod chord

2 slices of cheese

A baggie of cereal

TWWS: Pi Day

Talking to Ben on gmail, (complaining)/saying how exhausted I am today...

Ben: yikes...
also, its Pi day

Me: yeah, i know
and it's taking FOREVER

Ben: welllllllll it might be because Pi is an irrational number
which never ends
bwahahahahaha

Lots of parenthesis.

Hokay, so.

Bootcamp is going awesome. BUT. I'm in TERRIBLE shape - as bad, if not worse, as I was when I started last year. It's frustrating how much I slid backwards! But I can DO this! I have goals and aspirations and dreams that involve getting very muddy. I have full confidence, and I can already tell I'm getting better/stronger/not as dumb. And it's probably very amusing/scary to listen to me talk to myself during workouts (I'm all about yelling at myself like a drill sergeant and muttering how ridiculous this [being my fitness level] is).

(Also, my cold lingers from last week, but my nose ONLY runs when I'm working out. I think it's my body's last ditch effort to give itself a break between insane reps of something ridiculous Jeff has thought up.)

I also want to start running (half marathon this summer?), biking to work once a week or more (15+ miles?!), swimming (if I can get over the whole chlorine thing...blach), and FINALLY start boxing (I didn't spend an hour filling that wave-master for nothing!!!).

Realistically, I don't know if I'm going to be able to do all that. But I have it in my head that I'm going to, so....there's that.

Finally, I really cannot wait for April. Why?

• Tax season is over. (it is going well, but two jobs takes a lot out of you if you're not careful. Not careful being joining 5am bootcamp)
• I'm a quarter of a century old. (Quarter party anyone?!)
• Spa day with my mom to celebrate both.
• Um, nice weather?!?! Helloooo?!?!
  

Problem/Solution

One of the things I dislike most about my job is licking envelopes. I have NEVER liked the taste of the glue, and the bitter taste has a drying effect on my mouth, leaving me unable to lick and seal ALL of the envelopes I need to send out.

I have a solution though! FLAVORED ENVELOPE GLUE. I would be more than happy to lick all our strawberry-flavored envelopes so mail can go out!

Realistically, why not? They've made Tylenol taste like candy so you can suck on it a bit, wait (but not for long!) for saliva to accumulate, and swallow! Easy!

Now, I don't have the means to implement my solution. I have no business plan, resources, or anything worthwhile; I'm just the brains. SO. Anyone who happens to venture across this idea....please, steal it and run with it. I don't care if you make millions. I will just be happy to have yummy envelopes to lick.

I mean, with an "invention" like that, you could realistically have all the administrative assistant girlfriends you could ever want. (what?! secretaries are hot...)