To any of you who argue that country music is good... I do believe you are lairs.

Today, I had the "pleasure" of listening to a country music station for 7 hours. I heard all the sure-to-be classics, including...

"God is Great, Beer is Good, and People Are Crazy" (profound),
"Beer Gut" (after the hit "Honky Tonk Badonka Donk", why not complete the mental image of the girl and throw on a protruding, beer induced belly? Classy.), and
"Big Green Tractor" (who's lyrics included something along the lines of "Ride with me on my big green tractor, I don't care where we go, as long as I'm with you". Mmm....I'd rather walk. And seeing as you're riding a big green tractor, probably without you.)

I didn't catch the title, but I'm PRETTY confident I heard the lyric "we'll mosey out the door and make love". Um...

Needless to say, after hearing "Beer Gut" for the third time, I begged the women I was working with to change the station because I didn't know whether to laugh (because of the ABSURD lyrics) or cry (because I felt myself getting stupider by the second).

I'm not exaggerating about any of that.

My friends, I am not a country girl at heart. Blah. Ya'll can keep your twang and banjo.

Paige, promise me you won't live and breath country music when you move south and develop your southern belle accent complete with a porch, rocking chair, sweet iced tea, fried chicken (recipe from Paula Dean's cookbook), and the dozen other things we discussed but can't recall at the moment.