Confession

I hate new years resolutions.

You might ask if my reason for hating them has anything to do with the fact that I can't keep them.

Maaaaaaybe....

BUT. I hate the fact that people don't make the decision to change something (eat healthier, excersize, treat/pamper yourself more, manage money better, ect ect ect) when they realize something's wrong. I get it, the new year makes for a nice beginning point, and year long goals are easier to manage when it starts January to December. But still...if you realize that you've put on 10 pounds in the past 2 years, why wait to do something about it?

To be completely fair, I'm doing an awful lot of assuming and am only guessing that a lot of people do this. My basis for such an accusation? I did it. Guilty.

Of course, this goes a bit deeper than what I'm admitting. Having everyone list of their new years resolutions reminds me that once again, another year has passed and once again, I'm not where I thought I would be right now.

I've already mentioned before in blogs years past that I thought by now, I'd be married to an amazing man and have a kid or two that I stay home with. Obviously, that's not the case; I've reconciled that long ago, but I'm still reminded of those old dreams when I see friends moving onto the next stage of their lives.

Instead of having aspirations that are dependent on other people (i.e. marriage and kids), a few years ago I decided on ones that I can control more: paying off student loan debt, enjoying/growing in my job, moving towards missions, that sort of thing. And guess as to what I've done/been doing?

Zilch.

I get so embarrassed about it too. I beat myself up over how I'm not accomplishing much and how I haven't done this or that. I hate how I had all these big plans for myself and how I was going somewhere, but nothing (substantial) has happened.

But truth be told? No one else cares but me. No one else is as torn up about the fact that I'm not debt-free and doing accounting overseas except me. As far as I know (and please correct me if I'm wrong, I can take it), no one is ashamed of where I am in life.

So really, I need to stop making a big ado about nothing and actually ENJOY where I'm at right now. I need to stop apologizing to myself about not reaching a certain milestone when I think I should be. I DON'T have to have everything done by 25. CS Lewis didn't even become a Christian until he was 33 years old. Julia Child didn't start cooking until she was 37. Jesus didn't start His teaching until he was 30. I've got time. (Thank you for the reminder, Lauren!)

The big stuff happens in your 30's....I've got at least 5 years. :)