Sunday, January 16, 2011

There's got to be a better way...

I cry an embarrassingly large amount when I cut onions. It's a natural response, I know, but honestly, I could do without the crying. I've actually gotten to the point where I cut my onions the day BEFORE I use them so when I sob my eyes out, I can immediately to go the bathroom, wash my face, and go straight to bed as leftover tears slowly fall their way to my pillow. (Only a slight exaggeration.)

This is where you come in. I need remedies to prevent myself from tearing up during food prep.

My grandma and cousin both said to breath through my mouth completely when cutting them - no onion smell means my back-up supply of fresh, ready-for-action, trigger-happy tears aren't given the signal that it's time for some serious action.

I gave it a shot tonight, and while it's true, I didn't tear up as much (though my eyes still buuuurned!), I had a reaction that was just as embarrassing and unappealing as the sad clown. For the sake of dinner tomorrow, I won't go into it.

So seriously, I want some advice. I COULD ask google, but really, I'd like to leave my fate in your hands. That way, when my dismal attempts at tear-aversion utterly fail, there's a physical person I could point the finger to from underneath my moist....nah, soggy pile of tissues.

And don't you dare suggest this.

5 comments:

  1. We use a pampered chef chopper that while doesn't protect me from the most potent onions really speeds up the whole onion cutting process. Chopper

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  2. By the way that onion bully is really weird... why not just stick a spoon in your mouth (its free!)

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  3. See, I have one of those too, but I think it just speeds up the process of odor-release because I have a worse time when I use it than when I don't!

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  4. Oooo even better idea - dried onion flakes! If Scott isn't home to cut the onion (he doesn't cry like me) then I just use those.

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  5. put a match in your mouth while you chop. (put the wood end, not the burny end, in your mouth) something about the sulfur on the end of it absorbs the chemicals that make your eyes water. also, burn a candle nearby; something about how the flame needs oxygen so it sucks up the air nearby; i don't really know the science behind it. also, clean up the onion juice with vinegar, it totally kills the smell, and to get rid of the smell on your hands, run them along the inside of a stainless steel sink or along a stainless faucet. again, i don't know why any of this works, but it DOES work. for me, at least. let me know if it works for you.

    or just run them through the food processor like i do most of the time. or make your roommate do it.

    jeez, i can't stand chopping onions.

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