Revelation.

I am a jerk. I really am.

I realized this sometime between 2pm and 4 pm today.

I've been so gung-ho about leaving my old job and starting my new job. "2 weeks is normal, and 2 weeks is what I said. My last day is Friday this week. Thursday if I can pull it off." My justification is that my new employer has been shorthanded for a month and really REALLY needs help.

All Darrell asked is if I can help out with payroll and keep things afloat while they try to find someone. I SAID I'll talk to Terry, but I don't want to talk to Terry. I want to be firm with my end date and don't want to make things complicated.

Meanwhile, Iowa Insulation doesn't have anyone to pay the monthly taxes, pay roughly 30 employees their payroll, do bank reconciliation, pay bills, deposit money, and do any work necessary to keep things running.

"Whatever, not my problem."

I'm glad for soft voices in the back of my mind saying, "Wake up and knock it off. You're being ridiculously selfish." And I am. I really am.

I apologized to Darrell via email since he wasn't there, and I'll do it again in person tomorrow. No one deserves that kind of treatment, and I definitely don't want to leave Iowa Insulation on bad terms. There ARE ways to compromise. I can work weekends to get payroll done, and I can come in for an hour after Cross Wealth to take care of bills and invoices and deposits until my replacement comes.

For being someone who hates having people mad or upset with her, I sure haven't been acting like it...